Robert Elias Najemy asked:


Bill is very jealous of Efi and does not want her to ever leave the house without him. He is afraid that some man might approach her, and he cannot stand the idea of another man even looking at her. Although she has given him no concrete reason to fear, for some reason, he does not trust her. He feels intense fear, self-rejection and anger.
His sense of self-worth as a man is highly associated with his being only man whom Efi could possible care for. When asked why he fears this so much and gives so much attention to this possibility when he has never seen Efi flirting or paying attention to any other man, he cannot answer. He does not know why, but he totally loses control, intimidates and even threatens physical violence when Efi goes out of the house for a reason other than shopping.
Ironically, Bill’s eyes tend to follow attractive women whenever they pass. His mind is very focused on women. Perhaps this is because his mother gave him very little attention, or perhaps she never breast fed him, or she herself had a tendency to flirt, something which demeaned his father and made Bill feel ashamed. He may have, at that time, made a vow never to be demeaned like his father.
Efi, on the other hand, comes from a family that allowed very little freedom. She was free to go on her first date only after the age of eighteen. Now with Bill’s problem, she is experiencing the same restrictions and clashes she’d had with her parents. She is living a personal reoccurring nightmare.
At first she tried to avoid conflicts by not going out at all, but she nearly went crazy. She tried to plead and reason with Bill, but the subject was a source of great pain and anger for him and he inevitably ended up threatening her.
Efi is not interested in other men, but she cannot stand this suppression and distrust. She begins to go out ever more often and their conflicts have become more frequent and intense.
What can they do to get out of this vicious circle?
What do they need to learn to solve this problem?
Bill:
Does he need to work on his childhood years and get free of that image of his mother flirting?
Does he need to let go of his self-doubt?
Is his lesson to feel his self-respect and self-worth as a man independent of what his wife does?
Does he need to learn to care more about Efi and her needs?
Does he need to learn to trust her more?
Does he need to communicate differently, expressing his needs and fears and not his anger and threats?
Perhaps he needs to become more self-sufficient.
Efi:
Is her lesson to understand Bill and help him feel safe?
Is it to go out anyway and let him deal with his emotions?
Does she need to overcome her programming from her childhood years so she can feel her right to be independent and also free herself from fear of conflict?
Does she need to respect his needs more and feel her freedom while helping her loved one?
Does she need to respect her own needs more?
Does she need to find a different way of communicating with him?
Does she need to overcome guilt?
Both need to work on their childhood programmings.

Create a video blog…instantly.

Mark Goodworthy asked:


Time has flown by so fast and many things have changed. Lives of people have become so fast-paced that somehow things like love and happiness have taken a backseat to career, business or money. Communications are centered not on how to foster relationships but on how to make the money tree grow.

Because of this, quite a lot of things have been taken for granted and people are slowly shying away from emotions that are the core of living. As a result, many feelings are harbored inside and these include regret, resentment and even the lurking green-eyed monster, jealousy.

This purely negative feeling that is known as jealousy is not only limited to your insane urge to grab at the hair of the woman your husband or boyfriend has been seeing behind your back. Jealousy could also be applied to the feelings of resentment that you have over the promotion of your colleague or your husband. It is also your inability to express your anger over why your husband treats your kid with more respect than he does you.

For those who are under the spell of this green-eyed monster, jealousy is a feeling that devastates them to the core and even results in them feeling great extent of anguish and pain. However, jealousy will not only affect the people who feel it, but also the people who surround them. Even if they try their hardest to hide their jealousy, it will always come out by the way they treat the people around them and how they will just allow it to ruin lives and relationships.

The basic approach to overcoming jealousy is knowing the reason behind it and understanding why it is happening. Usually, jealousy boils down to low self-esteem, insecurities and even huge love for a partner. While it is really great to love your partner so much, remember that anything that borders on the extreme is also bad and could just lead to hurt and devastation. Low self-esteem and insecurities are also two components of jealousy that should be gotten rid of.

If you are really intent on seeking help for your jealous tendencies, then maybe you could ask a hypnotherapist to treat you. Through hypnosis, your therapist will be able to go beyond the barriers that are keeping you from thinking positive thoughts. He will be able to delve into the negative blocks that are lodged in your subconscious and ease them out until you will be free of them. Once this happens, you are already able to overcome the lowness of your self-esteem as well as break away from your insecurities.

Then, all your jealous feelings will just fly out the window. Once the green-eyed monster is gone, you will finally be able to foster a relationship that is based on confidence and trust and be free from the anguish of always doubting.

Caffeinated Content – Members-Only Content for WordPress