But it never lasts. Somewhere down the road you decide this person is not for you or they decide that they cannot deal with you anymore. You have never lost the positive attributes which make it easy for you to get a date but there is another characteristic that makes building and maintaining the dating relationship a losing battle.

Jealousy can be an all consuming emotion. It can distort your perception to the reality in front of you like few things in this world. You go out on a date and your significant other sees someone they went to college with. They have not seen each other in a couple of years. They greet each other warmly but nothing over the top in fact your date goes out of their way to not only introduce you but make you an active participant in the conversation. There is no exchange if phone numbers or addresses; street or email. They met, reminisced and moved on.

No sweat right? Not to the jealous mind. Something tells you this whole thing was planned. It’s just too much of coincidence that your date met someone they have not seen in years. Now the green eyed monster takes over and starts filling you with doubts, anxiety, fear and conspiracy theories. All wrapped up in neat bundle of rage.

Now comes the cross examination which you have turned into an art form. None of their answers satisfy you. From there the distrust for your dating partner starts to grow. Every time they see someone they know or talk on the telephone or are a couple of minutes late, the jealousy gets that much stronger.

There will be no more suffering in silence as far as you are concerned. They brought this on themselves and you will not be made a fool of. Your intensity gets more intense and constant. Some of your dating partners have argued back at you before calling it quits. Others just flat out disappear because they cannot bring themselves to tell you how much you have hurt them. The sad part is more than a few were ready and one hundred percent committed to building a relationship with you before your jealousy took over.

You may reflect on these broke relationships from time to time but the green eyed monster always gives you the “correct” answer: It’s always their fault. But no one in a dating relationship can be right all the time. If you are alone again for the same reasons as always, then it may dawn on you eventually that the person looking back at you from the mirror should take a major portion of the blame.

As the woman in the relationship, you need to watch out for these warning signs to find out if your partner is not the “gentleman” he is setting out to be:

1. Too much determination to spend more and more time with you. This in itself is not a bad thing. I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend their time with a great woman like you? However, alarm bells should start ringing in your head if he insists on spending more and more time with you that it eats up your time with your buddies and friends offline. He insists on chatting with you right after work, like if your work stops at 5, he’ll be at the chatroom or email you at the exact dot. He’ll ask you why you were late and who you were with, then at what time did you exactly get out of work, and how much time you spent on travel. In brief, he’s checking up on you. Making sure that you know that he’s waiting will push you to be back home at certain times to be able to go online with him.

2. Too much involvement with your social life. He would insist on knowing each and everyone of your friends and family members. When he sees you chatting or talking with someone he was not introduced to, then will get irrationally angry and demand who is on the other line. Why does he do this? Well, he’s worried that you might leave him for that guy on the chatroom or on the phone. Again, he doesn’t think that he deserves to be loved, so he would always wonder why you would love him and he will be constantly afraid that you’ll leave him for a better man. He would show and say how your friends act as bad influences, and it would do better for you to dump them and spend more time with him.

3. Too much involvement with what you wear. Admit it, as women, we love to make a fashion statement. We always try to look our very best when we go out, right? Even if we’re only meeting someone through the web cam. This is when you can first discover that he is jealous and possessive. How? He will try to influence you and the way you dress. He will insist that you change into something else if he sees you wearing a particular set of clothes. He will ask you what you’re going to wear when you go out, and insist that no, you can’t wear these types of shorts or skirts, and no, you cannot go out in spaghetti-strapped blouses. If this happens, then tell your guy gently, that you are comfortable with your clothes and you will wear what you want and he’ll have to live with it. But again, say this gently, so as not to arouse an even bigger monster inside him: anger. He will also start attacking your self-esteem little by little, making criticisms on how you look in certain outfits, and then telling you that you should feel lucky that a girl like you has a millionaire match like him. Do not believe this. You are an extremely beautiful woman inside and out, and he’s the one who’s lucky that he has you.

It is always great for women to feel loved and wanted, and a little bit of jealous actions will be an indication. However, it has to have its limits and should be kept in control.

Many men are very possessive and when you mix this with a lack of self confidence (mostly the fear of not loosing a woman to someone else), you will see the full extent of the negative effects of jealousy. Some men don’t believe that they actually deserve to be in a relationship with the woman, and they try to make her as dependent on them as possible.

While excessive jealousy can’t be spotted right away, there are certain signs that can tell you more about your date, especially if you start seeing each other more often. Some guys will probably offer to pick you up from work or school when you get out – this can be a nice gesture, but it can also be one of the first signs that they want complete control over your time and company. Other times, you may have a phone conversation with a male friend of yours – maybe a coworker, maybe an old friend.

If your date asks about him you can consider that a good thing – he is interested in your friends and entourage. However, if the conversation goes on and on about the male voice on your phone, chances are jealousy is involved. One of the most obvious signs of jealousy is when you tell your date that you spent a night out with a male friend and he starts an argument based on that. Any woman should have at least a few men as friends, and if your date is envious or jealous about any of them, chances are you are in for a rough ride if you continue the relationship.

Most guys with low self esteem will also develop jealousy problems. They feel like you can always find someone better, so they go out of their way to monopolize your time and interests. Nothing is enough for a jealous man when it comes to gaining his trust. Even your sincere love, your passion, your willingness to be by his side when he is going through rough times may not be enough for his peace of mind. This is why jealous men are one of the most negative dates you can experience.

Warning signals for jealous men – Here are a few things that can let you know if your date or partner is jealous:

He keeps track of all your friends and social encounters.

He tells you to dress more conservatively, especially when you are not going out together with him.

He insists on escorting you to the bakery, grocery store and other places similar to those.

He often shows up or calls during your business meetings, or any other occasions when you are in a distinct group (maybe a high school reunion or simply while hanging out with your girlfriends).

He starts an argument every time you mention one of your male friends or say something good about any other guy.

He lacks confidence and has low self esteem.

He snaps about minor details.

He makes communication difficult if he doesn’t like the topic.