ericgeyer asked:


I am in a relationship with my girlfriend and I have a close platonic friend who is a girl who I’ve known for about 10 years now and my girlfriend thinks I have feelings for her when I don’t. Her and I are close because we’ve known each other for so long. My gf has a lot of close guy friends that I have absolutely no problem with. I want to solve this jealousy and insecurity with her. What can I do? I love her and I have asked her what I can do yet she doesn’t have an answer for me. I’m not going to throw away a ten year friendship with my friend for no reason, but I need to find a way to get past this with my girlfriend. Any suggestions? Thanks!

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misty b asked:


We had a relaionship previously where some infidelites occurred and have now started dating again. I believe truly we have both grown a lot. But still I am having insane feelings of jealousy and wanting to be controlling. Please help!

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braysgurl18 asked:


Ive never been this jealous in my life as I am now, 4 months pregnant, theres this girl always hanging around my fiance, shes married but she flirts a lot, yesterday he was going to paint my truck with her, but he said it was somehting him and I could do, luckily the tire was popped, lol so they couldnt, but she seems to be everywhere, anyone know how to get over jealousy? I ve told him I dont really like her and he makes me feel so bad by telling me how nice she is and how much shes helping me out when I move to Viginia, makes her sound like God, and me and ungrateful biatch. So any tips on getting rid of this feelings?
you guys are so awesome thank you soo much, i wish I could give you all ten points… Thanks for understanding, I just needed to hear wome good ideas of how to handle this and you guys were amazing thank you soo much

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Terry Ross asked:


Jealousy in marriage is destructive, a real relationship killer and one of those common marriage problems that needs to be resolved.

In you let feelings of jealousy develop and escalate the mind will run wild, imagine the enemy around every corner, question everything your partner thinks, says and does. In worst case scenario’s unresolved and unchecked jealousy has developed beyond the end of a relationship, into a long-term vendetta and in extreme cases extended to the loss of life.

As much as we would like to deny it, most people struggle with jealous emotions at some point in their lives and, in marriage, it is a one of those common marriage problems that can develop from feelings of insecurity or neglect.

We now live in a society where marriages are often as a result of a second, a fifth or any number of relationships and are, in many cases, second or subsequent marriages. This is just society as we now know it but it can leave spouses insecure, especially when a previous partner is still around, and particularly in the case when children are involved.

People can enter into marriages with so much previous baggage that it often hard to settle into a secure, trusting environment full of self worth and self-belief.

Marital jealousy develops from numerous situations and no matter how much you try and tell yourself there is no need for concern your mind just doesn’t listen and all the while your partner continues with the behaviour that is instilling the feeling of insecurity throughout your very soul.

Some people are natural flirts who draw the opposite sex like magnets, which, once the ring is on the finger, leaves partners totally insecure and just waiting for the moment when they are dumped for the next person that comes along. The partner who flirts often has no idea what impact their actions have on their relationship. They don’t actually believe that they are doing anything wrongs but perceive their actions to be friendly and not harmful.

No one could ever be accused of being unnecessarily jealous in the case of infidelity beyond which, if the marriage survives (and in many instances they do), strong measures need to be put in place to enable the cheated partner come to trust their partner again and control the feeling of jealousy.

Following the break up of a marriage children need to feel that the split isn’t as a result of anything that they have done. This leaves parents over protective, desperate to make amends for one parent environment and often at the expense of new relationships.

Another of the common marriage problems is that husbands feel neglected when a new baby arrives no matter how much they wanted the child in the first place. A baby’s mere existence is totally life changing with more attention towards the child and a complete nose dive’ in marital relations. With the bond between mother and child being that much closer it can leave fathers feeling neglected, unwanted and a total spare part.

With friends of mine the jealousy actually worked the other way with the wife feeling totally trapped after the birth of their first child and her husband spending all his time looking after the baby. She just yearned for the life they had prior to children when they enjoyed a good social life and spent all their free time together.

Too much time at work can leave your partner feeling very insecure, especially when your hours at work increase and you spend less and less time at home for the sake of your family but if we think about it is it really for the sake of the family…..

People get fixated on their goals and have no concept on how this is perceived or how it impacts on their relationship and their family life.

Without the 100% backing of both parties, long hours and continuous travel can prove to be a real relationship killer and, if left unchecked, one of those common marriage problems from which there is no return.

The list is endless and jealousy in and of itself is not a bad thing, it’s strong indication that you really care. The main thing we need to remember is not to let the jealousy consume, arouse fury and become destructive.

If you are suffering from feelings of jealousy look at the cause, question your feelings and determine whether they have any foundation. Is your partner actually doing anything wrong, have they really done anything to drive your jealous emotions or have you just let your emotions spiral out of control.

If the fault is on your side, learning to recognise the fact is the first step towards controlling such an emotional and destructive thought process. It allows you to discuss your fears with your partner, explain how you feel and seek there help in enabling you to over come your jealous emotions, strengthen your marriage and build a more solid foundation for the future.

Communication is the foundation to marital success. If you can learn to communicate then you can express your emotions in a non-confrontational, non-accusatory, understanding and supportive environment.

Don’t just blurt your fears out such as I think you are having an affair’ it might not be true and it will just add fuel to the fire. Explain that something seems to have changed in your relationship, explain what has changed and what makes you think your marriage is different, don’t blame, don’t get emotional just explain to your spouse what is going through your head and seek their help in trying to sort it out.

One of the most common marriage problems is expecting our partners to always know what we want and how we feel. But even with a ring on our finger we aren’t always mind readers, if we haven’t communicated our feelings and our partner doesn’t know they have, in our eyes, done something wrong, how do we expect them to do anything about it!

Tell them now, save your marriage before its too late. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Even if the answer isn’t what you want to hear knowledge is power and with knowledge comes the ability to turn your life around.

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Paul Sterling & Kristin Denton asked:


So, what do humans and the frilled lizard have in common? Sometimes, when we’re afraid, we both puff out our faces and ears and try to act really, really scary. The fear in jealousy is so strong that it can sometimes make us react to situations like a frilled lizard, just to make sure that our partner gets the point that we don’t want them to stray.
And how many times has that ever made your beloved admire you more? Probably not many…
People use the word ‘jealousy’ as a feeling, but Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of Nonviolent Communication would probably say that it’s a thought.
For example, ‘abandoned’ is a thoughtit’s your negative evaluation of somebody leaving you. But what if they IRS abandoned you and your audit? Is that necessarily negative? No…. so ‘abandoned’ is an evaluation of, or thought about, somebody leaving you.
In the same way, ‘jealousy’ isn’t really a feeling – it’s a thought. The event may be your beloved paying attention to somebody else in a way that you think means s/he may leave you (or that they love another
person more than you). It’s the meaning that we attach to the event that we label ‘jealousy.’
The true feeling underneath jealousy is usually fear-that your beloved will leave you for another person. And fear is usually uncomfortable, if not down right painful. It awakens our limbic brain (the reptilian brain) and puts us in a fight or flight mode. We yell, we threaten, we puff out our ears and try to look real scary and go, “Bwah! Bwah!!” and generally look real stupid.
So, when you feel triggered by the fear that underlies jealousy, it would help to call it what it is. Call it fear. Say to your partner: “Honey,
(Observation) “When I saw you talking to your ex this evening…
(Feelings) “I felt frightened…
(Needs) “Because I have a need for emotional safety.
(Request) “Would you be willing to tell me truthfully if you’re falling back in love with her?”
Those are the four steps to speaking honestly using Nonviolent Communication. It’s scary to put your heart out to your beloved and expose yourself as being afraid. Most people don’t like to admit they’re scared. But isn’t it a lot better than fighting like a frilled lizard with your lover?
Asking the question in the nonviolent manner doesn’t imply that your lover did anything wrong. You’re taking full responsibility for the feeling of fear, not blaming them for having done anything ‘bad.’
And, of course, this is just one way to ask one little question about your feelings of jealousy, but the issue may be bigger than that. It may be useful to sit and look at where in your life somebody did leave you (or worse, didn’t love you but didn’t leave you, either). Those old wounds may be coming up now for you to look at, but your present lover may not be doing anything out of line.
And always give your inner reptilian brainyour inner frilled lizard that puffs out its cheeks and tries to look scarya lot of love. You developed that response because at some time you had a beautiful need for safety in a relationship that wasn’t met. Your frilled lizard is just trying to protect you in your current relationship.

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Mark C Roberts asked:


Jealousy Help
Getting jealousy help is as easy as beginning a program of self hypnosis. When you need help with jealousy it is because you have come to realize that jealousy is destroying your happiness. For those who seek help jealousy is an emotion that is out of control and needs to be tamed before permanent damage is done to relationships with friends and family. With help jealous people can learn how to improve their self esteem and how to put a stop to those jealous thoughts which are doing nothing except creating misery.
Recognizing the Irrational
One of the interesting characteristics of jealous people is that they often recognize their thoughts and behaviors are irrational. Yet they continue to attack the people in their life with verbal accusations that are unfounded. In the extreme cases, jealousy leads to violent behaviors such as stalking and even physical abuse. The feelings may be irrational, but they can have very real consequences. Getting jealousy help is critical no matter what stage of jealousy you may be experiencing.
Driving Love Away
When you have jealous tendencies, in effect you are driving the people away that you love most or would like to be friends with if you just could control your emotions. People pick up on the fact you are jealous and will shy away from you and refuse to be friends. If you are jealous of your spouse, your constant criticisms and accusations can lead to separation or divorce. You know you are driving them away but feel powerless to do anything about it. Getting jealousy help through self hypnosis not only helps you overcome the anxiousness you are always feeling, but teaches you how to control your thoughts and let go of your fears.
Sources of Jealousy
In the cases where a spouse really does give you reason to doubt their loyalty, jealousy is still not the answer. When you get help with jealousy you learn that this feeling is useless in that it solves no problems in your life. Instead the feelings and thoughts drive you to take the wrong actions such as verbal attacks which put the other person on the defensive from the start. Jealousy arises out of fear. You fear you are not good enough or smart enough or sexy enough. You fear you will be rejected and have low self-esteem.
Positive Beliefs in Yourself
Through self hypnosis you can learn to recognize the thoughts which lead to jealousy. You get jealousy help by learning to stop those thoughts before they get out of hand while also letting go of the fears. Self hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming focus on addressing your harmful thinking style and then teaching you how to turn negative thoughts into positive action.
Positive Reinforcement

By regularly following a program of self hypnosis, your change in thinking styles gets positive reinforcement. You can learn how to recognize your sterling qualities which will improve your self esteem. Your change in thinking patterns is then linked to a change in behaviors. You will stop making unfounded accusations, learn to approach situations rationally, and learn to believe in yourself. When you need jealousy help problems have reached a stage where they are interfering in your life. Though self hypnosis, you can get jealousy help and begin to lead a new life free of the destructive emotion.
Using Self Hypnosis RecordingsFor Jealousy Help
Self Hypnosis Recordings can be used to tackle a whole range of different problems, jealousy included. Overcome Jealousy by Joseph Clough is particularly good for those seeking jealousy help; this isavailableIn both CD and MP3 formatsas well as with asixty day money-backguarantee.

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Mark Goodworthy asked:


Time has flown by so fast and many things have changed. Lives of people have become so fast-paced that somehow things like love and happiness have taken a backseat to career, business or money. Communications are centered not on how to foster relationships but on how to make the money tree grow.

Because of this, quite a lot of things have been taken for granted and people are slowly shying away from emotions that are the core of living. As a result, many feelings are harbored inside and these include regret, resentment and even the lurking green-eyed monster, jealousy.

This purely negative feeling that is known as jealousy is not only limited to your insane urge to grab at the hair of the woman your husband or boyfriend has been seeing behind your back. Jealousy could also be applied to the feelings of resentment that you have over the promotion of your colleague or your husband. It is also your inability to express your anger over why your husband treats your kid with more respect than he does you.

For those who are under the spell of this green-eyed monster, jealousy is a feeling that devastates them to the core and even results in them feeling great extent of anguish and pain. However, jealousy will not only affect the people who feel it, but also the people who surround them. Even if they try their hardest to hide their jealousy, it will always come out by the way they treat the people around them and how they will just allow it to ruin lives and relationships.

The basic approach to overcoming jealousy is knowing the reason behind it and understanding why it is happening. Usually, jealousy boils down to low self-esteem, insecurities and even huge love for a partner. While it is really great to love your partner so much, remember that anything that borders on the extreme is also bad and could just lead to hurt and devastation. Low self-esteem and insecurities are also two components of jealousy that should be gotten rid of.

If you are really intent on seeking help for your jealous tendencies, then maybe you could ask a hypnotherapist to treat you. Through hypnosis, your therapist will be able to go beyond the barriers that are keeping you from thinking positive thoughts. He will be able to delve into the negative blocks that are lodged in your subconscious and ease them out until you will be free of them. Once this happens, you are already able to overcome the lowness of your self-esteem as well as break away from your insecurities.

Then, all your jealous feelings will just fly out the window. Once the green-eyed monster is gone, you will finally be able to foster a relationship that is based on confidence and trust and be free from the anguish of always doubting.

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Terry Doherty asked:

Jealousy doesnt often seem unreasonable at first. Your partner or spouse stays late at work for the twelfth time this month. You decide to give them a call, just to see if they want something special when they return home, and there is no answer. You werent suspicious before, but the answering machine at the other end gives you a nagging doubt.

That doubt begins to grow when your partner returns home late into the night complaining about all of the tough work they have been doing at the office. You can try to reason away the issue; perhaps he/she went out to grab a bite or a cup of coffee when you called. Maybe he/she was on the phone with an important call and didnt pick up.

A week later you notice that your partner left their email account open on your home PC. Just to be sure, you think; no real suspicions, but it wouldnt hurt to check. In some cases, the jealousy spins so out of control that violence in the home is a product.

This is how the jealousy spins out of control. What starts out as small, panging, doubts grows into intrusive violations of privacy. You can sneak a look at email, at all of those text messages, in pockets and clothing doing laundry, and suddenly whether true or not, your jealousy crosses the line into becoming something threatening, in and of itself, to your relationship. If your partner discovers your treachery, they may become quite disheartened and suspicious themselves.

Those feelings, they started out reasonably enough, but how can you keep them under control? Many people feel helpless in this situation and turn to drugs, alcohol and other ways of blocking the feelings. Therapy and hypnotherapy are a way to resolve some of these feelings without turning to unhealthy channels.

The practice of hypnosis and hypnotherapy has helped many cope and deal with jealousy. Internationally renowned Licensed Hypnotherapist Terry Doherty works one-on-one with patients throughout Europe offering personally tailored-programmes to treat the range of problems associated with jealousy. His clients offer rave reports of the success achieved by his unique methods. He incorporates hypnosis with personal exploration that allow you to get to the root of your issues and problems. Terry can give you the tools that will help you reconcile the initial pangs of jealousy so that you can deal with them constructively and in a healthy manner.

During your sessions, you may work with visualisation, picturing and feeling how you want to be. This can lead to increased confidence and self-esteem. These positive thoughts and improved self-image will make you better able to cope with situations where your jealousy previously might have twisted out of control, and dissolve those horrible feelings.

These positive thoughts will help you not only in the relationship aspect of your life, but in other areas as well. Instead of focusing all of your energy and thought on your relationship and jealousy you have time and energy to focus on your career, your hobbies, and your interests.

Overcome jealousy with powerful self-hypnosis