Ron Zvagelsky asked:


Jealousy is often regarded as the green-eyed monster. Indeed, it may be true considering that once a person is caught in its web, he or she is turned from a normal and loving individual into an enraged and delusional creature.

Couples in a relationship are especially more susceptible to jealousy attacks, although everyone has, at one time or another, been guilty of being jealous. The important thing to remember is that jealousy can be overcome. What you need to figure out is, first, how to recognize the signs and admit to yourself that you have a problem. Once you’ve acknowledged that you’re being affected by it, you need to find out how to deal with it and in the process prevent yourself from falling under its spell again.

How do you know when jealousy rears its ugly head?
Jealousy flares up when one partner feels insecure or threatened either by a real or an imagined threat. It is oftentimes considered normal to feel a little bit of jealousy over something real. Jealousy in small doses is pretty normal as it results from your feeling of inadequacy when compared to someone or something better. For instance, you may have that feeling when a good-looking woman (or man) comes up to your partner. This situation may sometimes bring self-esteem issues to the fore. However, when you assume something more than what seems to be only a passing acquaintance, then you’re in danger of feeding your distrust and paranoia and may ultimately lead you to extreme fits of jealousy.

Another condition when a person becomes a prisoner of jealousy is when he/she has been deceived in a previous relationship and still harbors some feeling of distrust towards the opposite sex. You may recognize this person as a perfect candidate for jealousy when he/she becomes too interested in your activities to the point that he/she constantly checks-up on you, is always suspicious of friends and people you deal with on a regular basis, and sometimes, even goes through your personal stuff.

Dealing with the Green-Eyed Monster
In order to successfully keep the jealousy monster under control you have to search your feelings to try and find out the underlying cause of your jealousy. When your partner looks at another, do you feel that you’re going to lose him/her? Do you believe that he’s devoting too much time to another instead of you? When you ask yourself these questions, you will be able to determine the intensity of your jealousy and realize that if you’re behaving irrationally then the problem might lie with you.

Sometimes, it’s simply your perception of yourself that seems to be the problem. If you constantly find something wrong with yourself every time that you look in a mirror, then it may be time to correct it. Sometimes, a simple change like a haircut, or a change in wardrobe may be the solution. If you feel the need to alter your appearance through modern cosmetic surgery, then go for it, as long as you believe that doing so may boost your self-esteem and give you back your self-confidence. The key here is to change the way you view yourself in your mind.

Talking to your partner about your apprehensions may also help. You may set some rules on behavior at the onset of the relationship and commit to them. This will establish the foundation for trust between the two of you. If at any time, one of you makes a mistake, keep the communication lines open, keep an open mind and discuss the situation. Trust will develop and flourish as the relationship grows.

You also have to learn to control your emotions and confront your fears and suspicions in a rational manner. Remember that jealousy can affect everyone. You have to value the effort you and your partner have both put into your relationship. There may be a chance that your assumptions may be baseless. You wouldn’t want to ruin a good relationship if you let your jealousy control you.

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Lance Taylor asked:


Copyright (c) 2008 Lance Taylor

There is nothing more pathetic and unattractive than jealousy. I have yet to find anything productive that comes from being jealous. It makes you do stupid things, and it makes her stop liking you.

Here is something that you MUST accept… If she is going to cheat on you, raging jealousy will only speed along the process. It certainly won’t stop her. You have to develop the attitude that “if she’s going to cheat on me, I want it to happen.” That way you can move on to better things.

Yes, as with anything, sometimes a person will respond well to you showing a little emotion. But trust me, you are MUCH better off never being jealous than searching for just the right amount of jealousy.

The reason is that jealousy automatically signals insecurity. And nobody wants to be with someone that is insecure. Girls want to be with the catch, the prize, someone who knows he’s got a lot to offer. They don’t want to be with someone who thinks she is going to leave him for every guy she talks to. And here’s a hint, if you let her know you’re afraid of her leaving you, then she probably will.

You must keep your life that you had before you started dating. This will help tremendously with jealousy. Jealousy usually comes as the result of not having any other options. When you are that afraid of losing someone, every little thing can be seen as a threat. So you have to keep your life outside of the relationship strong. I’m not saying you should keep other girls on the line, but you should know that you can go out and get another girl the next day if you have to. If you have a great life, you won’t freak out over the little things, because you will be fine no matter what happens.

Put yourself in her shoes. If you talk to someone of the opposite sex, it doesnt mean that you are interested in them. The same goes for her. Just because she has friends of the opposite sex, or talks to them occasionally, doesnt mean that she is going to cheat on you. But if you throw a fit every time she does it, it might actually push her away.

So keep your mind off of these paranoid thoughts by staying busy with other interests, and looking at things outside of your emotions. If you can keep this attitude, or at least act like it. You will be more attractive to your partner and your relationships will prosper.

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FRANCIS K GITHINJI asked:


May be you are too jealous but as you might have realized, it does not come by choice. It is a strong emotion which works you up to regrettable levels. May be you are the kind of a person that does very stupid things at the heat of the moment and you are left embarrassed. You might spot your lover with a prospectus boss, start hailing abuses and may be even get physical. This is a dangerous level which might drive your lover away from you unless it is kept in check. To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships in romantic relationships, you must first of all discover the root of the disturbing emotion. Did she cheat on you once? Does the other person shower him with overflowing favors? It will do you good if you understand the root of insecurity.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships in romantic relationships, learn how to handle competition. Attractive people are approached for dating all the time. Accept what you cannot change and walk around it. To remain top on the list you must be able to beat others who might be in competition for her/his love. Jealousy will only eat you up and leave you feeling bad, sad and unloved. Do not walk in the shadow of ignorance. If you do not reveal your jealousy, you will learn so much about your lover. He/she will voluntarily tell you about who is chasing after him or her but just with a light touch. Your reaction might determine what should be communicated to you in the future. If you are abreast with his/her admirers you are way step ahead because you have a chance to beat them before they start their game. To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships encourage openness in a relationship.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships, talk about it. When your lover knows that it is makes you uneasy when you are in a company of some people, he/she is a position to do a lot to save you the agony. She might start flirting with you when the company is around and may be the public show of affection will reduce your insecurity thus help you overcome jealousy in romantic relationships. She is best placed to assure you her love and take it a step further by announcing it to the whole world. Do not die with your feelings. Confess what your love for her is driving at. Chances are it will do you more good than harm. Off course when you declare your emotions it will be a sure sign of love and affection towards her.

Why i encourage communication is because some things we do as human beings are intentional. Your lover might be subjecting you to so much heartache in a mission to prove a thing. These are games lovers play. Some believe that a jealous lover is a true lover. Due to the rising levels of betrayal and malice in the dating scene, people are keen to look for real love. She might be raining praises about another gentleman just to watch your reaction. If you respond positively, the subjection stops and life continues. If you consider it a weakness and persevere you are subjected to more. Do not overcome jealousy in romantic relationships on your own. Involve your lover and you might even discover it was not your weakness after all.

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