What causes insecurity and jealousy when you know it’s wrong and how do you overcome it?
Aug.06, 2008 in
Psychology
Lovinlife asked:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. I’m very possessive of him. I get SO jealous of other girls, even though he NEVER talks to them. I think it’s getting worse. I overanalyze his past relationships. Even if he hangs out with his guy friends I get jealous. I know this is very unhealthy. Many of my friendships faded away. Many are busy with their own lives now and he’s like the only close person I have in my life. Plus I would rather hang out with him than them. It’s like I want all of his attention. I know it’s wrong, in general I’m a really nice person, but to him I can be so selfish. He always hangs out with me instead of his guy friends, and he’s very sweet. Once we started dating, all of my friendships started fading away. I want to change, but I don’t even know where to begin. I want to be an “awesome” girlfriend. We’re both juniors in college, and all I truly want for the both of us is to be happy. Because of jealousy, our relationship isn’t as strong as it used to be.
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I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. I’m very possessive of him. I get SO jealous of other girls, even though he NEVER talks to them. I think it’s getting worse. I overanalyze his past relationships. Even if he hangs out with his guy friends I get jealous. I know this is very unhealthy. Many of my friendships faded away. Many are busy with their own lives now and he’s like the only close person I have in my life. Plus I would rather hang out with him than them. It’s like I want all of his attention. I know it’s wrong, in general I’m a really nice person, but to him I can be so selfish. He always hangs out with me instead of his guy friends, and he’s very sweet. Once we started dating, all of my friendships started fading away. I want to change, but I don’t even know where to begin. I want to be an “awesome” girlfriend. We’re both juniors in college, and all I truly want for the both of us is to be happy. Because of jealousy, our relationship isn’t as strong as it used to be.
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Tags: Friendships, Girlfriend, Girls, Guy Friends, Insecurity, Jealousy, Juniors, Relationship, Relationships
August 7th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Why are you asking a guy this question that hasn’t had a girlfriend in over 2.5 years?
August 10th, 2008 at 7:26 am
I don’t think you are the only girl that does this, my ex boyfriend explained to me that his last girlfriend got mad at him every time a girl passed when the were just sitting. I think you should rationalize your jealousy, know he is with you why because he loves you, he needs his space and you need yours. My exboyfriend always called every other girl sweetie that’s not why he’s a ex,we talked about him calling everyone sweetie and he explained that he loves me.
August 13th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Start by living your own life. Jealousy is a form of control, which you do not have over any other person and you end up feeling angry and depressed about, so the only person who is hurting you is yourself. Insecurity comes from not being sure about yourself or the situation, start by taking control, of yourself I mean!
October 20th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Wow, are you sure that you and I aren’t the same person?? I am EXACTLY the same way. So much to the point that even one of the only girlfriends I do have, I get jealous of, like she is more the kind of person that he wants to be with. Has anything helped you? I wish i could give you advice, but I’m still needing it too. I am going to push him away and ruin what we have if I don’t start trying to relieve myself of this problem.